Words for B, part 4

Do you realize she harbors no jealousy towards us? We could 

lie in bed making love to each other beside her, and she 

would sleep like a baby, wouldn't even complain if we made 

too much noise.  If we woke her up because we were too vigorous 

she would wake with a smile, because the two people that she 

loves more than anything were making each other feel good. And 

if we had to be alone without her presence, she would feel the 

same...not jealousy, just joy that we were enjoying each other.

I can not dismiss the feeling of intimacy that I feel with you. 

To borrow your words, it is too powerful to ignore. B, when I 

look into your eyes, I feel your soul, it beckons to me.  We 

already have space together, you will not let yourself see it as 

such.  It is the reason your head begins to spin when we have 

those conversations.  The reason we can talk into the witching 

hour and feel that we have shared only but a moment.  The reason 

that when I caress your cheek, you fall into my touch, but have 

to hide your eyes from me.  The reason that when I put my arm 

around you to tell you how spectacular of a being you are, you 

do not pull away, yet lean into my embrace.

Space B, is powerful and overwhelming.  It is stepping into 

another dimension where we can experience simultaneously the 

physical realm and the ethereal.  That is why when you try to 

remember the experience it is like recalling a mushroom trip...

memories from an altered reality....the true reality.  For that 

space borders on all that is, most people's concept of heaven. 

And the three of us can be there instantly, that is our natural 

state.  It is the answer to the questions you refuse to ask 

yourself. It is the question itself.

Our space is so much different than what you and she, or she and 

I have.  It does not have the same passion, it is peaceful and 

calm....the most soothing place I have ever touched.  I know you 

feel it, but you tell me that it is only deep friendship.  It is 

friendship and so much more B, I wish you would step outside 

yourself for a moment and look at it, feel it, ask yourself why 

it feels so much different than anything you have felt before. 

I have asked that question a thousand times.

You B are balance, you stand in the center and hold two different 

things equally. Within this is harmony. I feel it when we are all 

together, and you are more concerned with you and I than you and 

she at the moment. We just are without definition, and it is 

incredible.  I wake up intoxicated, and the feeling does not pass 

all day.  And somehow that feeling scares you, immediately after 

we share space like that, you run away.  I feel you make distance, 

you retreat into the passion you have for her, and put distance 

between you and I. And inevitably you put the fatherly figure thing 

between us.

That thing about me being your mentor, a father figure.  Knowing 

that is your limiting factor tears me up.  It creates a barrier 

that you will not cross.  It makes the same kind of distance between 

us as when little one used to go away when I was making love to her. 

You have no idea how cold and lonely that place is.  It feels like 

raping your own soul.  And every time you tell me that I am a father 

figure to you it puts me in that place.

She is all things to me, and I to her.  She has all those feelings 

for me that you have.  I am a father figure to her, that is why she 

bore my children.  I am the older brother that she always wanted. I 

am the best friend she can tell anything to without fear of judgment. 

But I am so much more to her, as I could be for you.
  

Words for B, part 5

But you can not, or will not let yourself see beyond your limits. 

And in doing so, you must have her all to yourself to be in space 

with her.  I told you I could happily let that happen, if I had an 

invitation to join, if only once.  I fear that invitation will 

never come.  I feel your need to be with her. It has been three 

weeks and you can only go two before your need for intimacy rises 

to the surface. She to feels it.  That is why she moaned all night 

after falling asleep with distance between us.  That is why when I 

went down on her while she slept she reveled in it, because in her 

dream it was you making love to her.  That is why she could not make 

herself ask for permission to cum, but wanted to badly.  And that is 

why I saw disappointment in her eyes as I slid myself into her....and 

felt her slip away to that cold place.  After I was finished she 

drifted back to sleep and began to moan for you.

I can't even fantasize about the two of you because she will not 

let me posses her when she is with you.  So I feel left out. And 

that shit hurts B.  More than I can tell you.  To have my little 

one shut out her desire for me to be with her always, because your 

vulnerabilities are more important to you than either of our hearts. 

That you shut me out of what should be our experience.

I love you completely, so much so that I need to satisfy your 

desires however I can.  That means sending her to you because you 

need her.  That means sending her to you because she needs you. 

That is not sharing that is me giving to both of you.

And I find myself now at a loss for words.  Where do we go from

here?  Do we work together to give her El Mundo Bueno or do we allow

the distance between us to create El Mundo Malo in some way for us 

all. 

The choice is yours to make B, as it always has been.  You have

been trying so fucking hard, it does show, I can feel it B.

Deep down I feel you want the same as I, a blissful harmonious 

existence.  That is possible, but it will not come without work

on all of our parts, mostly you and I.  I pledge to you all of 

myself, all that I have and ever will be.  You can accept as 

much as I can give, or as much as you can handle.  I don't even

need your answers, I need the questions that you used to arrive at 

your answers.  I need that two way street of communication, without 

limit...your first thought, not your distilled meaning.  If you can 

not ask those questions alone, allow one or both of us to help you.

We all need each other B.  We must find a way to make this work

so we stop sharing pain, and start experiencing Joy together.

I will leave you for now with more words of yours that I have

commandeered. All that have we have been going through, what we are 

tying to make since of can all be summed up in one word: "Love".

Seduce

Seduce.....to enchant, to put under one's spell.  Now that the first two steps are in place, the check made, the place known and occupied....the fun begins.  As the enchantment grows, so deepens the submission.  The need to please is intensified. The need for self gratification replaced by a urge to please.  The daunting reality that if the Dom is not pleased the sub can not experience pleasure. The replacement of self with selflessness.

The enchantment........one part chemical, one part physical, two parts ethereal (spiritual, electrical, transcendence, insert synonym).  The stuff fairy tales are made of.  This, in its best form, is a two way street.  Co-dependence in its best form. Like getting lost in a good book and never wanting the end to come.  Until the story becomes life itself.  Some strange episode of The Twilight Zone, where your narrator is standing right in front of you.

Seduction, can be long and drawn out, or instant as in the electric look from across the room, cutting through the air, teleporting each party instantaneously into their own private version of space.  Slowing  down time, and the universe itself.  Like the onset of a powerful drug....hardly noticeable at first, hard to handle at the peak and next to impossible to leave in the end.

Seduction, where infatuation transforms into overwhelming consumption of all that is and will ever be.  Laying the foundation for that place where time is erroneous and space is malleable.

Dominate

Dominate...to overwhelm.  To be larger than life such that all else pales, nay shrinks, in comparison.  The way our Sun dominates our solar system.  Looking at the planets themselves, is a truly massive undertaking.  Think of it,  rocks are small, boulders are big, mountains are massive, continents enormous, they all join together to make a planet that is in and of itself everything to so many.  Yet it is but a mere speck in comparison to the overwhelming presence of the sun.  The sun, that if not kept in check by the forces of the universe, would burn so intensely as to consume all in its path,  or at least near proximity.  But then again is there anything more humble than the sun.  Never wanting, always giving, providing for so many with no expectation of return.

Dominate.....to exert force of will.  This is almost never well received as force of body, yet mind.  Let's take the all too common "Get on you knees slut" approach into consideration.  Not to say that it doesn't have it place.  But is far to often used without a CHECK in place.  This can be quite effective, but only if proper binding is in place.  That is it only works if the sub is wanting of moving to the next step, submission.  If not it leads to issues.  Issues of questions like "Why should I?"

In my experience,  some of the most dominate forces, should I say personality's that I have encountered have been the most humble.  Those who lead by example and expect no one to follow,  but are welcoming and helpful of all that do.  People that do not have to utter a word to fill the room with their overwhelming presence.  People that can put you in you place with a simple LOOK.  Yet with a smile make YOU feel larger than life.  And that is, for me, what ttwd is all about.  EMPOWERMENT.  Through being strong, you gain the luxury to be week;  through complete submission you may gain the exhilaration of being truly powerful.

In the presence of a true dominating force, there is one thing and one thing only TRUTH.  For this overwhelming force can see instantly through the haze of bullshit we all create around ourselves.  This leads to a sense of need.... Need to be completely honest and forthcoming.  After all we all want to make pretty the truth,  but none want to get caught in the shame of a lie.  And the wost lies of all are the ones we tell ourselves.

Bind

Ok, let's explore the food for thought a little bit more.  First off:  Bind.

To Bind.  This can be straight forward or ethereal.  Let's go for the later as it should prove more fun....and couldn't we all use more fun in our lives.  To Bind, impede motion, to put into check.  Anyone can implement this strait forward, a little bit of rope, some leather, don't forget the stainless steel latches.....but the ethereal check is so much better and so much more effective.

This, as in a grand chess game, is done through careful observation.  Studying of habits and driving forces, both conscious and unconscious, and actually the unconscious prove to be more fun.  When you have a working knowledge of someone's subconscious, you may consistently evoke reactions that are elusive, even to them.  This power can be either beneficial or detrimental, depending where it is coming from.  As the old saying goes....Trash in...Trash out.  But I digress...

To impede motion.  To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  It is this counter action that cancels out the action rendering it void.  If every dis-satisfactory action is rendered void, the the obvious, nay subconscious, reaction is to stay put.  CHECK!.

I was fortunate enough to belong to Timber Wolf (of the K9 variety) for some 15 years.  Beautiful creature, very large, very intimidating.....very friendly, very loving.  Got along with all people, unless they intended harm,  and got along with all K9's.....once they submitted.  And they WOULD submit....or die.  The thing is...she always kept order.  When anyone got an attitude....all it took was a look, that is THE LOOK.  This look worked equally as well on humans and K9 alike.  The look that screams:  your fucking up....and you have half a second to correct your behavior or it will be corrected.  It wasn't a violent look...always.  Yet more of a loving look...your not really going to make me do it....are you?  CHECK!

To bind....To put into one's place and prevent undesired motion.  There is no where to go.  This IS the ONLY place to be.........

FOOD FOR THOUGHT...........

Just a little food for thought.........yours and mine............................

A quick personal deffinition I have been pondering for a while now.  All be it from a Dom's  point of view.


B..........Bind
D..........Dominate
S...........Seduce
M..........Manipulate

Just a thought or two

     Yin and Yang, black and white.  Two polar opposites that are part of the same whole.  Neither existing without the other.  A small part of each within the other.  Swimming in a ring which contains them both, defining their space, highlighting their existence.  Perfect within each other.

     This to me is so much of what D/s relationships are about.  Two polar opposites that some how magnetize to form one whole.  Each exhibiting parts of their partners.  Their counterparts enabling each other to delve fully into those realms of subconscious desires and unknown motivations.  The little piece of each that is exchanged.  It is a true Dom that knows fully the power of submission.  A true sub that knows the responsibility of Domination.  Without that little piece there is no truth.

    It is this polarization which enables the use of energy.  Imagine that the yin and the yang are water and oil in a sealed glass vial.  As you slowly move the glass from side to side.  The water and oil don't mix.  They slide across and around each other.  In constant contact, yet never touching.  This is the SPACE where all the energy is.  This is the sub space, The Dom space.  This is where we lucky enough to have found the doorway go to escape it all.  The deepest space.  The place where we are most heavily insulated from the outside ring.

  Energy play is like having a set of jumper cables strung from the center to the outside.  A sort of gate to the inside that can be opened at will.  Only not at your will.  At your opposites will.  That spark that is created by a circuit that is not quite connected, yet in close enough proximity to send electrons hurdling through the air.  WATCHING the spark... IS the play.  Like the sky longing to touch the earth,  the earth needing to touch the sky and the lightning created to satisfy the longing........................

There you go little one...I made a post for you,  hope you enjoyed it.